Grumbling about Complaining

I’m tired of… I so sick of… Why do they… I hate when…
Do you ever find yourself saying one of these things or something
similar? Do feel like you have a lot of reasons to complain? Do you struggle with people, changes, and the like? Maybe you don’t think so,
but how often do you voice your displeasure with something in the shape
of a complaint? Or maybe in the shape of sarcasm? Or maybe in the shape
of an attitude?

I have to admit, one of my biggest complaints, is complaining. I
can’t stand it when others complain. It eats at my core. It gets my
insides turning. Sometimes I want to say, “suck it up.” Sometimes, I
want to say, “get over it.” Sometimes, I want to say, “give some
grace, would ya?!” I wonder if my sensitivity to this is related to my
upbringing. I’m not sure. Or maybe when I was a young Christian, I
read a verse of scripture that said, “Do everything without
complaining or arguing, so that no one can criticize you.” (Phil
2:14-15) and I took that scripture literally. Not that I’m perfect at
it or that I expect anyone else to be, but it just seems that
complaining and arguing seem to be the norm for many of my Christian
brothers and sisters. And, the ideal just seems so clear to me.

Now what are friends for, if they are not there to vent to?! I’m not
referring to sharing our struggles with our friends. That’s what
friends (and mates) are for. But, in this context, our goal is not just
to complain, but to make ourselves better people by sharing our problems
and seeking solutions or sometimes just helping us feel better by
putting words to our thoughts and emotions. Of course, we must think
about how our venting affects our mate or our friend. Who wants to hang
out or share life with someone who is always complaining and tearing
others down?! These conversations, over time, suck the life out of
others, instead of giving them Life. Who wants to be with someone or
give time to someone that takes life instead of gives it?! Of course,
Jesus calls all of us to respond with grace, patience, kindness, and
compassion.

Which leads me to my grumbling. I’ve never been accused of being a
person who is gifted in compassion. And as I’ve been thinking about my
own complaining lately to my wife, I’ve been thinking about the
connection. I want her to hear me, be compassionate, and help me in
response. That’s what compassion is all about. I read the other day
that compassion isn’t just about feeling sorry for someone, but
compassion, as Jesus defined it in the parable of the good Samaritan, is
an action. What good is it to hear a need of someone, pray for them, and
wish them well and then send them on there way without helping when you
can? Compassion, like love, isn’t just a feeling, it’s an action.

So, my question and my challenge is when I hear others complain,
instead of grumbling about that, do I listen and understand the need
that is not being met in their life, and have compassion on them by
doing what I can to help. Maybe I just need to listen to them. I learned
from the book, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, that sometimes,
women just need you to listen and that helps, they don’t need you to
fix their problem. So, listening can be a form of compassion. That sense
of community can be overlooked by men, but is so valuable to so many
women. However, if we have the ability to help someone, maybe we should
respond in love and compassion by actually finding a way to help them.
Sometimes we need wisdom and we need to seek God and ask him for the
best way to do that.

Now about my own complaining, I definitely think that if Paul tells us
to do everything without complaining or grumbling, there must be a way
to do that. So how do I respond when I want to complain? Maybe I need to
rethink my thoughts. Maybe my thinking is all wrong. Imagine that, I
could be wrong. Instead of complaining about my boss or some
rule I have
to follow, I should pray for my boss and be thankful that I have a job.
Instead of complaining about the way things are, I should be working to
make them better. Maybe my problem is me. I’m looking at things
selfishly and want things to be better for me without concern for
others. Maybe pride is in the way and I think everyone should see things
the way I see them. Maybe I need to extend grace to someone who is
having a bad day, a bad week, or is in a bad chapter of their life.
Maybe I need to learn a lesson from God due to my situation. Maybe my
character needs developed.

As I was reading in James just this morning, “when troubles come your
way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when
your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it
grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect
and complete, needing nothing. If you need wisdom, ask our generous God,
and he will give it to you.” (James 1:2-4 NLT)

How do you deal with your temptation to complain or grumble? What helps
you have the right attitude? What helps you develop your character? What
makes you a better person?

The Summer

This summer has been amazing, horrible, great, busy, relaxing, enjoyable, hectic, crazy, and all that. I have loved spending every day in the sun building above ground swimming pools for a friend of mine. I have worked with a neat group of guys that have a lot of fun talking about theology, philosophy, God, Jesus, pacifism, the left, the right, and people in the middle or people with their head in the sand, but maybe more importantly we've talked about the best music, movies, and tv shows that we've watched in the last 30 years (ok some of us, others for 20 years or so.) It's been a neat summer getting to know some new guys. And it's been embarrasing to have a teenager "outwork" him on the crew. (kudos, Brody, kudos)

As a house church, we've been working through the multiplication process, praying and talking, and talking and praying. At this point, I just want to see it happen. Of course, that is just around the corner and I am oh, so excited. It's supposed to happen on Sun, Sept 13th, unless Jesus comes back (of course, we know he won't yet, right Adrian? :) Seriously, though, I am very pumped and excited to know that we will be multiplying one house church into three. God has provided leadership, hosts, and a plan. Now it's time to see it happen.

That same week, we will also be launching our monthly Community Worship Gathering. It will be on the third Thursday of the month in the Vineyard Church of Springfield's building at 137 E Main St in Springfield, Ohio. They have been extremely generous to offer to let us use there building. They have such a Kingdom mindset. They love to see churches working together and helping each other and they are a great example for all of us to follow. I am excited for the opportunity to gather all of our house churches together for worship, encouragement, and to cast vision, but I'm more excited about what actually happens in a Life House. The Worship Gathering doesn't mean much to us in comparison to the house church gathering. But, I'm excited about this as well, since we'll be multiplying early that same week and I'm sure we'll be missing each other already. :)

We are preparing to take a family vacation this Friday with my wife's folks. We'll be going up the east coast from DC (2 days) to New Haven, CT (1 day) to Boston, MA (3 days) back down to Philadelphia, PA (2 days) to conclude our trip in Canton, OH (1 evening) to see Rod Woodson (my fav NFL player of all time) be inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame. I'm excited about the trip, though a little cautious as well. We've got a lot of traveling to do. It sounds like alot of stuff to do in a short amount of time. My back has been bothering me when sitting for an extended period. But, we've never been to most of these areas (well Boston, NH, CT, ME and the such). Hopefully, the weather will help us enjoy it even more. My girls are really looking forward to DC and Philly, especially my history buff of a girl Morgan (13, a true teenager, complete with earbuds sticking out of her ears all the time.)

One thing I need is some time away. This summer has been rough working long days in the hot sun. Being away from the office has taken me out of my consistency element. My reading has been cut way back. My devotions have been almost non-existent. My prayer life, inconsistent. My sense of God working, much less than normal. So, as our trip winds down and we return to the 'field, I'll start work at CTC on the Monday after our Saturday return. Life will get back to normal. All in time to prepare to launch our community worship gathering and the multiplication of our house church. There is much to be thankful for.

I often look at our checkbook and wonder how we are doing it. Our core group has been so very faithful to help us without any assistance from a denomination or supporting group. Thankfully, some friends and family have also stepped and provided periodic assistance along the way. Without, which, we would never have survived. No matter, how much I whine about our/my situation, God pulls us through and shows up in neat ways. In so many ways, I should simply be thankful. I hope this is the last time you hear me "talk" about money. I'm gonna shut up now and just live the life that God has called us to. We'll trust God to provide.

It has been quite a challenge to start this church bi-vocationally, but it has also provided a neat backdrop. As it relates to the church and the mission of God, I love planning for the future. I love pondering what may happen, but those are luxuries that you don't have when you're working all day, then coming home to your family and trying to find time to fit everything else in. I'll always be a thinker and an analyzer, but when you are on mission, sometimes you don't have time for all that stuff. Which reminds me why we sometimes get into some silly, petty discussions/arguments theologically or whatnot, because we have too much time to sit around pondering things instead of putting them into practice by getting involved in the lives of some people who don't know Jesus and finding ways to serve them. Instead of living everyday on mission, we find ways to handicap the church. Instead of really giving God are all and really loving people, we complain about the way other Christians are.

God help us to get our eyes off of ourselves, spend time loving people where you put us and help us to make the world a better place to live. Help me to remember how much people need you. Help me to show them who you are. Help me to show my family. Help me.

One thing I'm passionate about. God is looking for broken people. The more broken I am, the better he can show up and and show off. God is in the healing business. Let him heal whatever is broken in you today.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings. Until our next time... Hasta...

A moment to breathe...

I have recently come up on a moment to breathe. :-)

It feels kinda weird since I was also able to take a walk at lunch and experience a beautiful day outside, as well. God is good. He blesses us and gives us what we need. I am thankful for this moment, also, because I know it won't last long as there is much to do.

We have finished our classes for fostering to adopt. Though the classes were very good and appreciated, they were also very time consuming (40 hrs in 3 months), so I'm thankful that we've finished them. There is much to do yet, such as house inspections and interviews with caseworkers and patiently waiting for another child that God has for us to love. Our three girls are all so wonderful and they too, are looking forward to a little brother to add to the family and love like one of our own. But, until all of that, a moment to breathe.

Track is over for Morgan, which means less after school activity for the whole family. It was kinda neat to see Morgan participate. Girls and boys are so different, though. Sports are still so much about relationships for girls, while guys are so concerned with success/failure. Morgan will have more cheerleading stuff right around the corner, since she made the 8th grade squad (yeah!! for her!!) but we'll have a break for a little while. A moment to breathe.

The NFL Draft is over. Teams are pretty much set. There is little to no sports news that interests me until NFL Training Camps start up in late July (unless perhaps we end up with a Cavs vs Lakers finale). A moment to breathe.

School has been hectic these last two months since OGTs and everyday packed with meetings from the beginning of the day until the end. My head has been spinning. It's been good and I've been thankful, but it's just taken a little getting used to compared to the first part of the school year. But, in a little over a week those will be over, school will be preparing to end, and I'll be off work for the summer (most of it.) A moment to breathe.

Financially, things have been very difficult, though we've managed to pay off some debt (which has been a blessing!) We hope to have a couple of garage sales, sell some stuff on ebay, and use a couple of bonuses to catch things up, so that we are not riding the line quite so tight. Not to mention, if we do some things right in this next year, as we are planning to, we can be completely out of debt (minus the house) in less than a year! I'm looking forward to a moment to breathe.

Whever I start to feel frazzled because of my lack of time, money, or other resources, I am always reminded that God is the God who provides. He gives us what we need. And as his child whom he loves desperately, if I don't have enough money, it's probably because I haven't used appropriately what He's given me. If I don't have enough time, it's probably because I'm trying to do too much and I need to chill out. If I haven't achieved enough "success," it's probably because I need to be patient and wait for God to do His work. Mostly, when I'm feeling stressed out due to a lack of time and constant running, I often and need to remember the Sabbath.

The Sabbath is something I believe we should follow legalistically in maitaining all of these rules of what we can and/or cannot do on Sunday (actually, it was Saturday), but rather it is a place of rest in God's presence. It is stopping and listening to what God has to say to me. It is simply being, not doing. God has a Sabbath for me that is not confined to a day of the week. God has a Sabbath waiting for me with the promise of eternal rest. The Sabbath is a gift, not a burden. It is for man, not against him. The Sabbath is a moment to breathe...

Right now, I need a Sabbath. I've spent too many days working in my own strength and power, free of listening to God's voice and just surviving on my own. God has something better for me. He has and wants a deeper relationship than that. It is time for me to remember that and reflect on God's goodness in God's presence. It is time to take a moment to breathe...

Why house church?

Why house church?

Well, there are many reasons. The more you get to know us and spend time with us, the more you’ll understand. But, let me share a few of the main reasons.

When I first came to know Jesus in a personal way, it was through the influence of a “normal” church. In those early days, I was reading my Bible and more specifically, the New Testament and what I had experienced in minimal ways in church to this point and what I was reading about in the stories of the early church were two very different things.

Years went by and I grew like crazy! After some initial struggle, I followed God into “full-time” ministry as a youth pastor in a “normal” church. I spent almost 10 years doing that, learning the ins and outs of church life, loving teenagers and learning leadership in a local church. We had lots of fun playing football, having late night worship services, and just hanging out together. One thing I noticed in that time is that our mission trips and small groups were the most beneficial to our own spiritual growth, as well as the impact that we could have on those outside of the church. House Church is in many ways a hybrid of mission trip and small group combined.

Then God started to lead me once again into church planting. I wrestled with him for some time over this, but ultimately submitted myself to Him and His leadership in my life. As I began to take steps toward following this leading, I began to ask God what kind of church he wanted me to plant. Through a series of events and conversations with many people that I know, love and trust God opened my eyes and heart to this new idea of “house church.” Many of these people had come from “normal” churches and many were still in “normal” churches. However, I began to simply know that God was leading me to start something new. It was new to me, anyway. God kinda started this a little while back in the book of Acts.

There is much more to tell. There are many more reasons. All of us in Life House Community have come with our own stories of how/why we are here. Why don’t you come and get to know us and hear our stories for yourself? Maybe you’re story will overlap with ours and we’ll spend some time on this journey of life together, discovering what it means to be a simple expression of Christian community that brings glory to God by following Jesus.

Who wants to buy a Wii?!

Ok, so how do I start this so you believe me?

It's true, I won a Wii!!
No, I really won a Wii!!
This is not a hoax.
This not a sweepstakes.
This is not a con to get you turn over your bank accounts.

No matter, how I start, it sounds phoney.
How about this?

My FREE Wii arrived in the mail today!
They delivered my Wii today that I won!

No matter, how it starts, I know how it sounds.
But, truly today at my house near South Charleston, UPS delivered a brand new in-the-box Nintendo Wii that I won through a random purchase at Blockbuster last fall. The funny part is WE ALREADY OWN A Wii! Now, I know what you're thinking, well, he's a nice guy, why doesn't he just give it to me(us). :~)

Well, you're right, I am a nice guy. But, I'm so nice right now, that we are living on, well let's just say less than we are used to and less than we are comfortable with. The good thing is God has blessed us and provided. He always does. Even better, we have been figuring out how to pay down debt, all while dealing with a much lower income and fun surprises that come up (ie, dishwasher going out and school deciding to buy new cheerleading uniforms during some of the worst economic times that we've seen in a while.)

Now, I'm not complaining. I'm just saying...

Here's what I'm saying...

Who wants to buy a brand new Wii sealed in the box for retail cost? ($250, no taxes :)

To Denominate or Not To Denominate

This is the question. The question of the hour, the day, the week, the month, the year.

Should we, as a house church network plant, join a denomination? If you want to weigh in on the discussion feel free. Just realize, as we have, that it may sound like a very dividing conversation. While I don't normally like these kinds of discussion (b/c they are not usually very productive or Kingdom of God centered), for us, at this time, it is extremely important. It affects the direction and future of our house church network. How much it affects us, is open to opinion, b/c we are who we are, yet, it will still affect us.

Most of us in our group desire to join a denomination for the following reasons.

Accountability. We want to be accountable to someone else so that we don't sway off our own way, but keep our roots connected with orthodox Christianity and theology. While we believe that God has given us vision to doing Church differently than most these days, we don't want that to be license to completely go our own way and disconnect ourselves from any accountable relationships. We want to be able to fairly easily address questions or concerns of heresy being taught or discussed within our Life Houses, but we do want some freedom to wrestle with and think about the scriptures and how they apply to our lives today.

Support. We hope a denomination will desire us as much as we desire them. Relationships don't work so well, if one is deemed to be sucking Life from the other. We want a symbiotic relationship. We hope for prayer support, a small amount (for a church plant) of financial support, and mentoring relationships. We want to be able to contribute to a larger network of Christian relationships in many different ways. (potentially district events and/or worldwide missions) We want to be a people that a denomination is proud to have as one of their churches.

Reputation. House church is outside the box for most and we certainly don't want anyone to wonder if we are a cult. Being connected to a denomination should help relinquish any of those kinds of concerns. (Interestingly as I've talked to folks outside of our group about this, some have pointed out that all of those negative cult situations, actually come from one person being given too much power, not from a shared leadership/participation type of group, like house church.)

However, I'm not sold on the fact that we need to be a part of a denomination.

Part of it comes from the fact that when I first became a Christian, I rejected the idea of denominations. It all seemed way too divisive. I would answer folks with what denomination, I held onto, but rather I simply said, "I am Christian."

Control seems to be an issue through our discussions. Some denominations want lots of control over a local congregation and some give lots of freedom to local congregations. Many aren't sure how and would have to work through how to have a relationship with a house church network versus a traditional style church. I am okay with (though I'm not a big fan of) being a part of a denomination because of a particular view of systematic theology. (I'm not a big fan of systematic theology) I'm not a big fan of a denomination mandating some gray areas of morality for not only a national church, but an international church. I do believe that the community of faith has something to say about how we should live morally, but more in the context of those who are in truly in relationship to one another (ie small group, house church, etc.)

One last thing that I'm finding. It's seemed to be a challenge and/or many challenges ahead of convincing a denomination or a board within a denomination of our vision for house church. I'm struggling with that. If you want someone to marry you, I'm not sure you should have to tell them why you're so great. They should just know it. Or they should just accept who you are. Context once again is also a reality. We are pursuing them at this point and not the other way around. Most of them don't really know us. (However, there is one denomination that has been pursuing us.)

Lastly, I've had some very good people who I trust, love and respect talk to me about their concerns regarding us joining a denomination. Mostly, they are against it. Not really too many folks have encouraged us to join. (except for maybe one friend) I find that interesting and curious. I wonder if those folks would be willing to pony up some financial support in place of that denomination. :~)

Well, I must go for now. I'm sure this discussion will come up again. Please pray for us. We will be doing the same. God knows we want to follow His direction.

If you've got something to offer in productive and helpful ways, please share. We are definitely willing to listen, consider, and dialogue about.

Pagan CHURCHianity... One more thought...

One more thought I would like to add.

Frank and George seem to be at odds with human spirit-led leadership. Frank talks an awful lot about every-member participation (which I appreciate) and Jesus Christ leading meetings as the head of the Church in open meetings. They seem to have a problem with a human leading or facilitating a meeting (not to mention the spirit leading you prior to a meeting to share something that was planned in advance, ie order of worship). Frank claims that he has participated in these Christ-led (not human led) meetings where Jesus pulls it all together.

This is an area that some have challenged me with. It seems to come from our theology. How do we understand God? How do we understand the Trinity? How do we understand human leadership? How do we understand God's way of working with His people?

I fall in the category of believing God, the father is the one calling the shots, so to speak, but he does so with love (self-less giving) and a servant spirit. In the same way, I believe that God has entrusted men in the Old and New Testament with leadership to provide direction and vision with love (self-less giving) and a servant spirit. This type of leadership is way different than wanting our own way and requires great responsibility and accountability.

My question for Frank would be, why can't God manifest himself through human leadership? Isn't that exactly what he does? There are at least two categories within the house church (and other's too, I suppose) on leadership. One says that God calls a leader to provide vision and direction, spirit-led, of course, to a group of people. Another says that God calls a group of people to collectively provide vision and direction. I'm not talking about a leadership board or vision team, I'm talking about the whole group. But, even within a leadership board or vision team, you must have a leader to faciliate and provide leadership within their function. Does God's Spirit not work through an individual in such a way?

I wonder if Frank may have experienced a bad situation with poor leadership in the past. I wonder if Frank's personality traits lend away from control. Leadership does not constitute or replace every member functioning, in fact, good, healthy biblical leadership would encourage it, equip it and help it to happen. Leadership does not provide all the work, it proves the direction of the work. And it must be done in self-less, servanthood, and loving ways. While others not in leadership, interact and help to provide feedback to the leader, ultimately they follow, trusting God to guide the leader by his Spirit.

Too many have experienced poor leadership or leadership that disagrees with their decision. Too many have been hurt by selfish or hurtful leadership. This doesn't negate our need for it, it simply reminds of the type of attitudes that leaders must have and that their job is not to take all the work away from the people, but to serve the people by providing vision and direction.

Leadership must be balanced and checked with the Bible, with accountability groups, and with followers and supporters, but servant-leadership is a human service to God and others.